Shifting the Weight

It's been a couple weeks of navigating tough things. Not tough things that are directly in my own life, but the challenges and heartbreaks and sadness of others. From people losing children to dark valleys in marriages to depression to hopelessness to people out of work to divorces to financial crises, about every day and a half or so a new weight on behalf of someone I care about deeply has come along. It has felt a bit surreal because, honestly, my life is a relative sea of calm at the moment. It isn't always like that, but it is for the moment.

I am taking the quiet in my life to pray and carry to the throne regularly these dear people I love. Each person that has been transparent with me has felt like a gift I was entrusted with by God to bring before him, seeking his healing and touch. The operative word in that last sentence would be "his".

Kathie's typical modus operandi: I am such a little fixer, helper, peacemaker. It comes from the part of me that likes the water smooth, that likes everyone happy and well. What can I do to make things better for you, eh? Of course, you want to be happy, but I want you to be happy, too, 'cause then I am happy. Get it?

Unfortunately, my M.O. tries to insert me into the middle of things I have no control over. I cannot make different decisions for people, heal deep hurts, bring extraordinary mercy, or provide inexplicable grace that allows people to navigate and even blossom in and after the worst things they can imagine actually happen to them.

And I cannot change the people around them, who love them so much, but, alas, often those closest to us understand us the least. I know I fall into this category sometimes, too. Well-intentioned people who want us to be safe and sane, who cannot always hear the way a so-not-safe-and-sane Jesus calls us to follow. And that following looks so very different from how our loved ones would do it.

I met with a man the other day who has an amazing story of how God has been calling, is calling, and is preparing the way for him to minister in India. He is a successful business owner. People he trusts and loves are saying things like, "But your business is what you're good at. God gave you success there. Why don't you just keep running your business and give to missions in India? Why don't you just use what God has given you already to fill this calling you feel?"

My heart broke when I heard him share this. I totally understand the concern, the hesitance, the struggle, from people you treasure and trust who do not hear a call the same way you do. And I can't find anything about God that calls us to follow in logical ways, so trying to explain to others what he whispers to you is so very hard. Can you picture each of the disciples explaining to their parents and employers the logical, safe, rational reasons that Jesus outlined to all of them when he called them to follow him?

I hope you can't, because from what I can see, no such thing happened.

He said, "Follow me." Not, "Follow my plan for you that will make sense to the world the moment you speak, the moment you act, the moment you demonstrate how you love me."

I cringe when I hear the phrase, "Why don't you just..."

God is not a god of just. Just enough provision, just enough hope, just enough grace, just so you feel comfortable, just so you aren't embarrassed, just so your loved ones aren't uncomfortable, just so everyone gets you.

He doesn't need people to get you. He longs for them to get Him. Watch for Him, see Him, need Him, be amazed by Him, be drawn to Him. To see in overabundance how he loves and provides for and cares for and transforms you. In ways that make no logical, safe, rational, outlined sense.

So, Kathie is praying, sympathizing, listening, but not fixing. And I pray that those people, those gifts of prayer needs that God has brought to me, are hearing, feeling, responding to the Spirit's call to not just follow, but to hurl the nets away and chase after Him in the draw of overabundance. And that the overabundance of love, healing, change, tenderness, reality, transparency, wholeness, and restoration touches sweetly all those people who observe the transformation in the ones they love.

Talk in Real Time

Seriously, I have writing I want to do. Crystal reminded me that it's good for the soul. I buy that.

But can I just say that it's been a treasure and a treat to have someone in the house to share dinner with (okay, eat the delicious dinner that they prepare and then bring my whack dish washing skills into play) and to talk with about good stuff? Talks with Stef are fun and insightful and warm.

I have been saying that if I had to share my house space again, it couldn't be with just anyone. It would have to be with someone who was more than a boarder, more than just another breathing presence.

I want to write, but for the moment I am using my evening time engaged in good laughter, music, tears, food, sweetness, and growth with a lovely housemate, who is so much more than just another body in the house. Stef is a blessing and a joy. So, thanks for the gift, Jesus.

Guess I'll have to start blogging from the office ;)

Things to Bloggy About

I do have things to bloggity blog. Happy things. Challenging things. Rich things.

Like the brain explosion I had after church on Sunday. A good kind, but explosion still. Fortunately, my new housemate, Stefanie, was here to help me manage the verbal spewage. But I bet you would have liked it if I had written it down instead :)

So maybe on a weekday evening I could blog?

But in this season, there are outside demands that are not here in winter. Like roses to be trimmed. Weeds to be pulled. Hollyhocks to watch grow. And the sun is up until 10:00 PM to allow me to do it.

So until I make myself sit and write, here are flower pictures from the yard that Stef took last week. Awfully purty, no?

Australian Eye Candy Party

In our continuing quest for fun flicks and good food, a few weeks ago my pals and I arrived at our most recent movie event. The conversation leading up to the fun, over the course of several days and various gals, went something like this...

"What are we doing for our next movie night?"

"Wait, you haven't seen Kate and Leopold?"

"Wait, you haven't seen X-Men?"

"Okay, then it's definitely a Hugh Jackman movie night. Sigh...eye candy."

"That's it! Eye Candy Movie Party!"

"You know we can't just eat candy for dinner, right? We tried that with the Elf party..." *shiver*

"So what do we eat? What do X-Men eat?"

"Wait! Hugh Jackman is Australian. Australian food!"

Thus...Australian Eye Candy movie night. Mock us not. You know you are sad you weren't here and that you had not thought of this brilliant concept.

A few Saturdays later it all came together. Folks wound up arriving at various times, so those of us in the first wave needed to nibble on something before dinner got underway. Thus, Kathie cleaned out her pantry and fridge of whatever random things she had.

Since the randomness included hummus, bruschetta, chips and salsa, and margaritas (there were celery sticks and cheese slices floating around, too), we decided to dub it The World Tour Prior to Arriving in Australia Appetizer Event. After we traveled to the Mediterranean, Italy, and Mexico, this was the decimation:



Apparently Aussies love their grills, so we found recipes for Australian steak, Australian barbecued meatloaf, and, of course, we had to have some shrimp on the barbie.



We had Koala Salad, as you can see :)



Bonni made bread from the recipe used at Outback Steakhouse. Yes, we know that they just give things Australian names there; we didn't care. Bonni meant to make mini loaves. She brought the dough and left it to rise in my very warm upstairs bonus room. When she went up to fetch them for the oven, we heard a squeal, followed by, "Hey! They aren't mini loaves any more...they're giant!" Here's what they expanded to in all their enthusiastic rising:



Bread came out delicious, Karin got a few of us hooked on Vegemite (okay, I can say that I am hooked--yum!), plus we had good Aussie wine and ale. Feast!



Then...in all it's delightful beauty and deliciousness, our Australian dessert: pavlova, or "pav", homemade by Stef. Can I just say that I have never liked meringue, no matter who made it or how it was delivered? Until I tasted Stefanie's meringue. Oh. My. Goodness. Then fill it with strawberries, kiwis, mangos, and whipped cream with passion fruit juice. Ohhhhhhh...



Here's the better of the two crowd shots I remembered to take. Don't whine, girls. The other pic is worse, with many more mouths just inches above their plates :)



And how did we handle the Eye Candy part of the evening? Well, first Karin scoured the Treasure Valley for gummi eyeballs or little chocolate eyeballs. Apparently those are Halloween fare only. So, in desperation, I stood in an aisle in Walgreen's trying to find candy to match our theme. Here's what came together in a flash of brilliance:



Get it? EXtra Dark chocolate for X-Men and since Hugh comes from back in time in Kate and Leopold, we have old fashioned candy.

Told you it was brilliant :)

And did you see that cutie holding the pavlova, Stefanie? She's gonna be my new roomie for a little while starting tomorrow! Whoo-hoo! I finally landed a chef in the house!