New Things

I hope Skaggs doesn't mind, but I am going to use his Thanks post as a springboard to sharing some things I want to "put out there", as the purpose of this blog God made me start suggests (and I am not kidding--He made me do it). I am also going to be sly and use it as a segue to talking about something that it would just seem too weird to suddenly drop in here.

But first I have to share this way-too-cute picture of The Baby Viking. I would give credit to Chris's zerbert to making Odin laugh that hard, but in truth the kid is just that ridiculously adorable all the time. His grumpy days are way better than most of my good days! Apparently Beth is fond of hugging him and saying sarcastically, "Oh, it's so sad you have such a surly baby..." Chris and Rebekah have a huge success of genetic commingling on their hands :)

I love when God works in big, wide circles of answered prayer and cool stuff that I could never arrange. I was glancing back tonight at my It's Just a Thought post from last October. There are so many things, like being more vulnerable and asking for help and understanding His unconditional love, that I have spent the last couple years really asking God to help me fathom--things I long to be, do, believe.

So here I am, almost three weeks out from a stunning blessing of a visit to Imladris in Newberg--Kathie was the flat, needy, soul-stretched friend who took shelter at the Skaggs' house. And my post from last October (one of many with a similar theme) is evidence that God had been preparing me for this visit for a long time. And Chris's post from a couple weeks ago evidences that these friends and their home, in answer to their prayers, were indeed used as part of a provision for my needs that began long ago. And, because God is just too stunning and beautiful to be predictable or boring, the visit to their home was a place to safely seek answer to new prayers as well--things I never dreamed I would be pondering.

It's been a busy, long eight months since the move to Idaho. Good, but wearying. My work schedule and travel from last November through mid-February was also just a load of good stuff, but it slammed me. Add into that the fun of Liann and I listing and selling the house in Springs--and an escrow that still has not closed. By the time I got around to writing to the Skaggses in the last days of February about the visit we had been talking about me making since October, I could barely compose a coherent email. I had to stop typing and trying to make decisions about whether to visit, about dates, or how to get there--and beg them to just tell me what to do. Praise God for friends who know when to just boss you! They said come, on these dates, and drive. And don't rush home too soon.

The eight-hour drive to Newberg, including going through the Columbia River Gorge (both directions), was just right. There were things to pray about; listen to the Spirit about; praise the Father, Son, and Spirit for; cry about; be honest about; and toughest for me--to ask for--to admit that there are things I want from God. Things that I have thought for years were shallow and needy and if I were actually mature in Christ I would not care about.

One example: during the Kenya trip, there was a fellow who could not stop taking pictures--of everyone and everything, including me. As we would talk in the evenings after work and dinner, he would load all the pictures and video he had shot onto a flash drive, give me the drive to load the stuff onto my computer, and then wait to see my joy at all the pictures he had taken. And video. And lots of it of me. Ugh. It was hideous. In case I have not mentioned it, my hair got about four times bigger in Kenya, and I felt like a sweaty, pasty blob.

And that's exactly what the pictures looked like to me. Hideous. I kept waiting for one decent picture or snippet of video to make me smile. I felt so selfish, but I wanted at least one picture to not make me feel ugly. The loud thought that came to me was, "You are a troll. It doesn't get much worse than you." And one night I finally actually cried tears in my room and told God, "I'm sorry, but I want to be beautiful! I can't believe it matters, and that I feel like this, but it's true--I want to be beautiful." It felt so pathetic. I had some flashback to parts of Captivating; didn't they say that this is what every woman really wants answered? Do you delight in me? Am I captivating?

Part of the time in Newberg was to talk about spiritual warfare, and Chris deftly pointed out that the thought that came to my brain was almost certainly not mine. It was an accusatory thought, and it came in the second-person--"you are...". I forget that we have an enemy. One who wants me to buy the line that I could never be adored by anyone, least of all God. Not saved, mind you--that's not the tack that works with me. That's solid. But adored--I sink right under the waves, because who would adore me? And what is wrong with me that this is what I want?

So, a series of events starts to unfold after my crying, which it turns out was in process even before the crying and asking. It's a long, great story that leads right back to me finally starting to believe--even celebrate--that God desires me and loves me. And much of what needed to be hashed through happened in Oregon. And it's a crazy web that I could never explain unless you had a few hours next to me on a couch with a cup of coffee, but some of it has to do with a new person in my life. Oh, man...here goes...

I met someone in Kenya. His name is Tony, he is Ugandan, and currently works in Sudan. And I know there are only like ten of you who even read this blog, and about half of you know this news already--but I am putting this out here because I want the other half of you all praying, too!

Tony is pretty introverted and will likely faint if/when he discovers that I put this information on the Web. In all of our cultural differences, though, I suppose it's better that he find out sooner rather than later that I have people in my life that I have known since my age was still a single digit, and that I can't not tell them stuff :) Besides, I know Christina is jumping up and down with glee right now--how could I not give her that gift?!

It's quite the story, but God apparently spent the two weeks in Kenya turning my heart and Tony's upside down--completely unbeknownst to one another. Can I just drop in the reminder here that Kathie has not been in a relationship since 1993? This does not happen everyday. Thus, it took Kathie a good while to even realize what was going on.

And, yes, Tony was the picture/video fellow. And this courtship journey we are in has been unlike anything I have ever experienced and is amazing on multiple levels.

Not the least of which are the deep, good things happening in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. And other things that were surfaced and discussed and prayed for and forgiven and answered and cried over and pondered in Newberg. Because there was a home opened by friends who asked God that they might be used to refuel, refresh and rejuvenate His children.

No, Chris--you are not making too much of my intentions or the time there. It was indeed an arranged appointment with you and Rebekah, but not arranged by me. Our Dad set it up. Thank you for listening to Him, and to me.

Quote I Am Digging this Week

When God asks us to let our seed of destiny be buried in the soil of relationships, it is because humility – recognizing that God is God and we are not – is the only catalyst that can enable our character to germinate properly….

Choosing to trust people, especially those who are different from ourselves, has a lot to do with trusting the One who is managing the path of our lives.

The Ascent of a Leader
Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, Ken McElrath

A Couple of Great Listens

I have one of the coolest bosses in the world. Who else out there has a boss who finds awesome sermons online and all kinds of other cool resources and points them out to his team?

Richard finds treasures, and I listened to two this past week that were great. They are both from John Piper's website, Desiring God, and are messages that were part of the 2006 Desiring God National Conference. I could go on and on about how great I thought these were, particularly the one by Mark Driscoll, but it's a little like buying everyone you know a copy of a book that rocked your world when not everyone you know is in the same place of heart or experience you are. Some will like, some won't, but most will ignore.

But I can at least share. I think some of you would really dig the messages. Download 'em, burn 'em on CDs, and listen in your car if you don't want to plant yourself at the computer to listen. I think you'll be glad you did. If you haven't had some churchin' in a while, this is a great way to get excited again about Jesus, and if you have any sense of humor at all and pay attention in any way to our modern culture, you will laugh often. But be warned--these are not your average, sleepy Sunday, God-make-me-more-comfortable sermons.

And seriously, don't let the titles of the messages scare ya. I almost didn't put them on here, but you'll see them when you get to the link anyway. The titles sound super-lofty, but these are really accessible, especially the Driscoll one. The Baucham one is a little headier, but some of you will eat that up.

Mark Driscoll: The Supremacy of Christ and the Church in a Postmodern World

Voddie Baucham: The Supremacy of Christ and Truth in a Postmodern World

Be blessed and loved. Man, we serve and follow and LOVE the most extraordinary God! Hallelujah!

Arrrgghh, Mateys!

When "Anna and the King" came out several years ago, Beth sent me an email. I have it basically memorized. It said:

I have three words for you: Chow. Yun. Fat.
Run, don't walk, to see this movie.

Liann and I obeyed. And were, of course, wonderfully rewarded with a few hours of big, smiley joy (read: Chow Yun Fat in Thai pants).

In fact, when I bought the DVD of the flick when it came out, I called Beth from the car, as Liann sped east on the 10 Freeway from Ontario Mills toward home so we could watch it anew. I said, "Guess what I have in the car with me? Three words: Chow. Yun. Fat." Elizabeth, in a swell of jealousy, called me a name I shall not post here, may I say.

That's friendship, baby!

So, even though there is only perhaps two seconds of him in here, I am posting the new trailer for "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." Three words for you: May 25, HURRY!

And why do I have to be in meetings in Grand Rapids opening day, and flying home that night? Crazy, I say!



And on an unrelated topic, do most of us blog better in our jammies or our street clothes? Do we blog better in the daytime or late at night? On or off Ambien?

That last one is just for me :)

Brain Clutter

Contrary to what my blog has evidenced in the last several posts, there are deep, surprisingly unexpected things happening in my heart and life these days. For anyone who is curious, the start of deep things was last mentioned on the January 28 post, in what Liann later chided me for being a very vague bit of blather. Rude! And quite likely correct--it just wasn't time to share things yet.

So I think I will do it in my next post :) Ha!

Today, I unload the clutter o' me brain. And like a happy leprechaun on this St. Patrick's Day, I do it with a tummy full of corned beef, cabbage and potatoes, that I was able to cook in the apartment without the whining of a former roommate who shall remain nameless. One who has a very sensitive nose. And a weakness for cookies.

Speaking of cookies, I must amend my previous post. I was stopped in the hallway by a colleague last week who pointed out that it is possible to eat a box of Samoas, also known as Caramel deLites, and feel no ill effect. I pondered for a moment and had to agree. They go down so nicely...and the toasted coconut is so yummy-licious. After looking online, I can also confirm that this way-too-educated-about-Girl-Scout-cookies-than-a-man-over-six-feet-tall-should-be guy was totally accurate in his information to me that the name of said cookies depends upon which bakery makes the cookies, Little Brownie Bakers or ABC Bakers. Marshall, I doff my sticky-fingered cookie hat to you!

And Devin is also correct--a roll of frozen Thin Mints goes down superbly, and YES...I see the word Tagalog every stinking time I look at a box of Tagalongs. I almost circled the 'n' on the box I bought so I would remember to say it correctly if ever I am dumb enough to purchase some again.

Back to Marshall, he let me pick some cool 80's tunes to burn onto a CD for my road trip to Newberg last weekend to see the Skaggs and Foxes. Marshall has no idea who these people are, by the way. It's just that I find he and his wife, another colleague, so adorable and funny, that I am constantly pestering them...so I think he started to read my blog to see if there is any explanation for my pestering and clambering to hang out with them. And feeling the need to liken significant events in their lives to game shows I make up in my head that are along the lines of "Wheel of Fish" from UHF. They are very patient with me, obviously! In fact, when he first offered to let me pick songs for the CD from his collection, I told him he could just do it for me. He begged off, warning me I might wind up with stuff like Weird Al. That turned into a 5-minute drivel from me about all the Weird Al and Dr. Demento I have been exposed to. Like anyone needs that peek into my life...

All that to say he let me make a cool CD. And just as I pulled out of Baker City, Oregon, my first stop for gas on the way to Newberg, Mike + the Mechanics came on--"The Living Years". There I was, on Interstate 84, singing away, beef jerky in one hand, steering wheel in the other, Baby Ruth candy bar on the passenger seat waiting to chase the beef jerky. And I took my first deep breath in weeks. Ah...that's a road trip!

More brain clutter--I saw these things called "Grāpples" in the market today. Looks like four apples in a plastic case. It says on the container, "Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape." WHY?

And because someone will be pleased to know, I tasted linguiça last week, Portuguese pork sausage. My pastor came to cook breakfast at MAF for some meetings our team was having--the guys had been subjected to bagels and yogurt for two days, so Pastor Mark came to make "Man Breakfast". That's some good stuff...and it'll last ya for a 7-hour road trip, I might add.

Off to finish a tube of Thin Mints from the freezer. Each one is "only wafer thin!"

Note to Self

Contrary to my previously held opinion, yes, in fact, you can eat too many Girl Scout cookies.

Since I got back from Kenya, my eating habits have actually improved slightly. Maybe it was all the super-duper mango and pineapple. I suddenly crave lots of fruit and veggies, and for a while, sweet stuff and red meat was not overly appealing. That has changed back to normal of course, and I again long for prime rib and brownies, but I have been fairly well-behaved.

Enter this afternoon. For some reason, I suddenly hit the end of my rope about something in the office, and medicated my attitude by pounding, pretty much right in a row, four Tagalong Girl Scout cookies (the peanut butter patty kind).

First of all, these are not the best cookies, by any stretch. Liann loves them, so I bought a box mostly out of old roommate nostalgia and memories of shared cookie time in our house (and for anyone who does not know, Liann is a complete cookie-holic; if you need to bribe her to do anything, don't bother with cash--bring peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies and she'll totally cave in). Anyway, Tagalongs are okay, but they are a little on the greasy side. They leave a sort of slip-n-slide feel in your mouth that is not so nice.

Secondly, the wave of unwell that struck me about 10 minutes later, and lasted for a good couple hours, was not the medicated attitude I was looking for. Bleech--I felt like I was one of those kids at the carnival who gets their first good slam of cotton candy and stupidly climbs on the Tilt-a-Whirl right away. Kathie no likey.

So, boys and girls, watch yourselves and those you love during this GS Cookie Fest. Those little Brownies and Girl Scouties look all sweet standing outside the market when you come out the door, but beware the draw of eating a whole vacuum tube of Thin Mints at once. I know it seems so much easier to just finish the thing, but save some for later.

And I recommend that practice based on a previous note to self as well :)

Laziest Post to Date

I found this on a friend's site (and, no, it wasn't one of you regulars, before you go checking to see whose good idea it was!). Anything that makes me laugh out loud more than once deserves to be posted.

And here's to me finally figuring out the easy way to post from YouTube. Crickey.

Presenting, Le Grand Content. Just let your mind float for 3 minutes, 52 seconds. That's right--I said float with me. You all know your minds have already been this distracted and whacky :)