It's Just a Thought

Christina got me thinking. I started to comment to her, but it got long enough, I thought I better stick it over here.

I was dropping in to her blog to say I have been reading and thanking God for the coolness of some of the stuff going on with her, with her and Andy, and with her and Andy's kids.

And I wanted to tell her, on the asking for help front -- dive in there, sister! If you don't, He might send you to Idaho where you get to ask a bunch of NEW people for help, rather than all the old friends who already love you and hang around waiting to bless you and be useful to you ;)

The weird thing, in my brain and heart, is realizing that I actually don't deserve anyone being helpful or kind, but I don't deserve any of that anyway, even from the One who made me. And this very Friday morning on the way to work, I thought about how I lived a long time in "the pinnacle of my life's achievement will be to be totally self-sufficient because that's what real grown-ups do and if they are responsible they have their act together and don't pester other people with things they should take care of themselves".

Hmmm. Then I look at the Bible. Hmmm. Christian community doesn't really seem to look like that, I guess. And this mission-community thing totally doesn't look like one that does not ask for help. I remember being stunned the first time I saw an email go out to MAF staff from someone asking to borrow a four-man tent for a camping trip. People borrow stuff? What? Don't you just BUY things? Borrowing means people KNOW you needed something--and you weren't in the condition to get it yourself.

Yep, an email about a tent got my mind whirring.

And those guys who followed Jesus. They were never total go-it-alone men. And Jesus wasn't even here doing his own thing, without needing from others. He went to his Dad all the time. I love that about Him. He said he wasn't doing anything here that His Father did not direct Him to do, or give Him authority to do. He was not on His own--though He certainly had the ability to do all things in His own strength.

And His example has to be my example. Ask. Let those around you feed you. Let them experience the same joy you have when you are privileged to love someone through a physical provision.

Even down to the non-physical bearing of one another's burdens. I had the same thought Michael had at the same time he was posting about all the shadowy places a number of us seem to be in at the moment. We are meant to share our lives together as brothers and sisters--not live in perpetual comparision about who actually has it worse and who has it better, so who has the right of way in talking about their struggles. Fact is, I think we are all plenty noisy enough to tell one another when we are complaining about something stupid--the rising cost of candy corn, for example :)

Otherwise, I think we really have no business to refrain from sharing, or asking for support, based on our own comparison of our situation to others. Any phrase that starts, "What I am going through is just..." is probably being phrased wrong. The sentence is, rather, "Dear friend, can we talk? What I am going through is..." It's all about grace.

When I am in a tough place, wrestling with emotions and struggles, the word just, when used to mean only or simply, has really never brought comfort. "My heart is broken, but it's just..." "I so much want to talk to the Lord about this, but it's just..."

It brings comparison, and leads me away from dealing with what the Lord would have me face and walk through with Him. And that often means he wants to use those who love me to talk to me.

So Christina was right on when she commented to Michael that we really should share and not feel guilty about it. I am learning that talking as He leads, and not as I discern for myself what I should say, allows for a lot more serendipity in conversation. And nothing blesses and warms and thrills like God-coordinated moments :)