Okay--so, like, three people may find this funny. But those three will thank me for making them laugh.
Thusly, I post the chat that Michael and I had today when I interrupted his perfectly focused grading time.
Michael = my sweet brother
me = moi, The Sluss
Michael: The bounce has gone out of me bungee
(This is Michael quietly minding his own business...)
Thusly, I post the chat that Michael and I had today when I interrupted his perfectly focused grading time.
Michael = my sweet brother
me = moi, The Sluss
Michael: The bounce has gone out of me bungee
(This is Michael quietly minding his own business...)
me: I may well be interrupting...
(The Sluss pounces!)
(The Sluss pounces!)
Michael: Kathie Slusser!
me: but I had to tell someone that I am having a problem with Candy Corn this season
Michael: Well, not anything important.
me: and it can't be someone here--they might make me stop
Michael: That's just to keep away the riff-raff.
Candy corn problem?
me: I LOVE IT!
Michael: Uh huh...
I don't think that's illegal yet...
me: I want to buy pounds and pounds
and eat it ALLLLLL!
Michael: Hrmmm...
me: It has been very soothing
Michael: That could be a problem.
me: When I worked on a PowerPoint a few weeks ago for Richard I had to warn him when I dropped it off..
I was pretty hooped up on candy corn when I did it
I couldn't guarantee the quality
Michael: That's funny.
And a little sad.
But funny.
me: hopped up, actually
now that I look
I am hardly ever hooped up
Michael: The boys just got their first candy corn of the season. They've been enjoying it as well, so maybe you can share when you come down next week!
me: YEAH!!!!
Auntie Candy Corn!!!
Michael: I'm so excited that's coming up. We were just prepping the boys for your visit last night. They're pretty excited, too.
And I liked "hooped up."
me: See? I'm a little hopped up right now :)
Are you excited? That's so cute!
You make me happy :)
How, exactly, are you prepping the boys? Like for nuclear holocaust?
Like for Sunday School?
Michael: Yes. We're all quite pleased, and I was pretty excited to realize it was happening sooner than I had expected.
me: Like for a dentist appointment?
More candy corn, please!!!
Michael: We're prepping them by letting them know you're coming. It does no good to tell them too early, or they either (a) get overexcited and then disappointed, or (b) forget. So it's close enough to tell them about it and have them be excited, too.
You are a bit hooped at the moment, aren't you?
me: So cute!
I think so...I am giggling maniacly all to myself in my cubby...
I have people on either side, so I must be quiet!
My face hurts from not laughing :(
Michael: That's the kind of hushed excitement one hears from mental patients with a special new pet.
me: Must...control...laughter...OW!
Absorootentutley
Michael: "Lenny! I have a new pet! His name is Mop! Shhhh! Don't let the nurse know!"
me: You are SOO not helping me!
I have now lost it
I hate you.
It all escaped--crap.
Michael: Heh.
me: ah, the release of the tears of laughter
so sweet
Michael: Wow. A lot of vitriol hidden in there.
me: face feels better
Michael: Feel free to blame my startling wit.
me: even if a big snarfing sound came out at the same time
mostly I blame the candy corn
Michael: Heh.
me: I sound like a nut job in here
Michael: It sounds like you ought to. You could probably sue the manufacturers.
Joanna was complaining that she couldn't find Brach's candy corn and had to buy an off-brand.
me: People have begun asking questions...
Michael: For those of us not too attached to candy corn, it seems a pretty minor point.
me: Off-brand!
Unacceptable!
Michael: How much brand loyalty do you need for dollops of corn syrup with added dyes?
me: That's like saying it's okay to buy generic Peeps!
hardly!
Philistine!
Does that have two "l's"?
I think not.
I see no tag!
Michael: Ah, but with Peeps, you're paying for the love.
Hee hee.
me: and their little candy eyeballs
I feel much better now that I have confessed my secret shame
I think I will capture this whole chat and make it a blog post for tonight
Michael: Off-brand peeps are made only with bitter hatred and disgust for the consumer. It's a disrespect that you can taste.
Oh, dear.
I can't tell if my thoughts are better or worse off the cuff.
me: Always better! Especially with candy corn!
You can't tell me that's not just snarfing hilarious stuff. Have a good night, kids!
You can't tell me that's not just snarfing hilarious stuff. Have a good night, kids!
5 comments:
Kathie, that is HILARIOUS ! I'm laughing my head off WITHOUT candy corn .... so I can't imagine the noise coming from your cubicle ! I'm glad I found your blog. I was playing around on Matt's computer and happened upon it through Devin's blog. What a great laugh. I needed that !
Kristin
I see no tag!
Heee.
Have to say I'm kinda glad I escaped Idaho without too much of the candy corn toxin in my system. I only ever want to eat it when I'm around you. Sassy Kusser, not just an addict she's also an enabler... tsk, tsk.
Miss your face already.
Oh and don't let her fool you, you don't get that hopped up on the corn (that's just the gateway addiction) she's using the pumpkins too.
Kathie, thank you soooooo much for the laugh. I'm late reading this, but I'm so glad I was because I really needed a laugh this morning. I'm crying from laughing after reading that! I can't stand candy corn, but now I want to get all hooped up too...hee hee!
So this was from messenger...what messenger are you using? Yahoo? MSN?
Remind me....why are we friends?
Ah yes. I'm like sorbet to cleanse the pallet. Watching the baseball game. Gotta go.
The Mc
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