I love 1 Thessalonians 5, especially verses 12-28. The instructions are so succinct, and the encouragement so direct. Verse 24: "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." Rock on. I have hung out a lot in these verses.
But I cracked up yesterday when I had a little epiphany over verse 14:
"And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone."
Ummmmm...Guess which side of the above listed group I have always put myself on, not consciously choosing, of course, but just always landed there? Obviously, on the encourager side. ALWAYS. Clearly, though, that means there are timid, weak people out there, who need some patience. Hee hee. That means there are encouragees. Look how I am always on the "do" side and never the "receive" side! Hee hee! Kathie giggles aloud (kind of snarfully-like, almost spraying little dots of spit on the computer screen), in this small, triumphal realization. I betcha, sometimes I am in the weak, timid, needing-patience group. I betcha, sometimes I am supposed to allow myself to be ministered to.
Maybe I am renaming this the "Duh" blog :)
5 comments:
It's an odd turn of our perspectives when we see that our ability to accept things like grace, service, compliments, correction...it's part of the cycle for the folks who are also trying to offer those things.
The whole foot-washing thing that seems kinda popular right now has never really rang for me, but I guess that I have to be willing to be washed in case God is asking somebody ele ot do the washing. Otherwise I wind up being the weak link in that chain. Weird huh?
Yeah--and I know mind-wise that there has to be a cycle, and I have given other people tons of grief for not letting folks be nice to them (my poor friend, Marie--oy). But I have, I think, actually convinced myself that it's okay for me to be out of that "receiving" part of the cycle, because people can always find someone else to be nice to, and I am really pretty much strong enough (in my own head) to keep just dishing out the service. Even though I said it was not a conscious choice to not be the one encouraged in 1 Thes. 5, I think I have to amend that now...I have made a conscious choice not to be ministered to, more times than I can count. Not wise.
I took four sips of wine this evening and realized that I even need to be careful of grabbing onto the "cycle" idea. I realized that I took to the idea of "being there" for someone to get to live out their part of ministering--as in, I get to "do" something for them. I have to show up so they can grow. Doesn't mean that's not true, but it took two seconds for me to make that my purpose, instead of resting in, receiving blessing from, and owning that I need the oil on my head. I act as though I don't, as though I am above needing. That's the really ugly gist of this that I am finally naming and coming to grips with, after bouts of breakdown from emptiness and exhaustion here and there. The bouts will start becoming regular under-the-covers-events if I keep running.
And please don't read that as a pouty, "I do so much for others, I am so ministry powerful" kind of statement. I run myself ragged by running in circles to arrange a world that's not mine to arrange. I know better, and I do it compulsively anyway.
That's what's therapy worthy right now. My ability to rest in God's grace without arguing with Him about my unworthiness, or just closing my eyes to it, or to receive from his Body without reciprocating, is so upside down, I can't get the boat back over by myself.
I know for me, the rubber really meets the road on this topic when it comes to money. I've really stuggled with accepting financial help from people.
A gift is one thing, I can stomach the generosity of my mother-in-law when it's presented as a gift. "Here's $100 for your anniversary. Have a great night on me!"
But when Code-Monkeys sstruggles and some kind soul sees (or supernaturally senses) that we're taking on water and offers to help with a 'gift' - not a loan mind you, because that too would be palattable - I really have a hard time with that.
In fairness, I can only bring myself to say "thank you" about half the time. The other half I say "No thanks - we'll be fine."
The irony of those moments is when I conclude my "no thank you" with "God will provide"...as if that wasn't exactly what he was just doing.
You got it, brother. I wonder how many times I have waved that helicopter away like the guy on the roof of his house above flood waters.
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