The Chasing

I am homesick for home. Of course, I now also have this weird thing where I am homesick for Kenya, Uganda, Lebanon, etc. Seeing a video of some of my June Kenya trip yesterday reminded me how much I am missing some folks.

I had a cool moment in church this morning, though, where I was suddenly grateful to be slightly discontent with who and where I am. Of course I should be discontent-this is not my home! Duh! I do forget this sometimes, and then the energy goes into trying to make the current location nice and smooth. How silly--and how wonderful and freeing to be reminded that sometimes I am silly, and it's grand to have a holy discontentment.

Freedom is my new excitement word: I need it. I need it like I need grace. I need freedom to think things and wonder things and be honest before God. He is making it happen. That's cool.

As I pondered a few weeks ago how to draw more strength for this too-big ministry work I am in, and how to be okay asking God once again whether this is where I am to be, he led me to Paul's lovely words to the Ephesians in 3:7-13 (emphasis mine):

I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory

Fed me for the day. Which is the key to daily bread, I imagine.

Also, I have wanted to say for weeks how I LOVE that in this sweet circle of folks in this funny little blogging thing we do, our collective discontent is not about our cash flow, and our longings are not for mansions and jewels. It is for peace, for one another, and for more and more of Jesus. For many of us, our biggest struggles are with our longings to be nearer to Him, in presence and in likeness.

We know that Psalm 84:10 is true:

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.

We love Psalm 27:4:

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

A friend and I chatted in church this morning about God's beauty, the reality of who He is, being the only thing that is powerful enough to keep us longing to be true to Him, and powerful enough to slay us where we stand and cause us to let his light chase out our darkness. So awesome.

Glad to live here with you, dear ones.