Well, let me just get right out on the table that Holly's post was a surprise blessing--I had no idea God would use my rambles last night in such an encouraging way. Yeah, Jesus!I am not kidding--I was on Ambien. Which, on a side note, sadly though, seems to be quite similar to Iocane Powder. Apparently, I have spent the last few years building up an immunity to Iocane Ambien. Phooey.
Anyway, Holly's post, in turn, gave me something to munch on today. How often do I let people hang my long ago past over me in a way that God never, ever would? I was created and redeemed by a God who, when I have repented and turned from my sins, has cast them AWAY, who recalls them no more, who says to me when I bring them up again, "WHAT are you talking about?" But I let people who do not forgive me, or who like to feel slightly superior by bringing up my failures over and again during dinner (as if God was surprised for one moment by them when they happened), determine how I view myself and my relationship with my Father? When I have been repentant and He has restored and renewed me, and I am living in a spirit of longing to be more like Him?Ummm. Wrong. There are times for confrontation in a community. However, after someone has repented and changed is not one of them.
But here's the coolest part for tonight, here from Germany: it bothers me WAY more that someone would do that to Holly, to someone I love, more than it bothers me that someone would do it to me. To someone who has surrendered to God so deeply and well, you want them to stop growing and be in despair? I want to swim the Atlantic and get home and pound anyone who dares to throw any part of Holly's life back in her face and use it to question her faith or the Jesus she loves.And if I am that amped up over a precious friend, how much more is God grieved when we don't completely accept and own and believe and rest and revel in the grace He has poured out on us, on me, His Beloved? Holly referred to Romans 5:1-5, which has some of my favorite verses, because it just amazes me. Verses 1 and 2 in the NIV say:Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
The "grace in which we now stand." We are in it this moment--the unclean and smudge removed off of us and out of us doesn't come later, when we get to Heaven. We are standing in gorgeous grace, perfectly clean, now.I wonder if Holly would like The Message version:By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.
Not only are we standing in the wide open space of His grace we long for, but we are standing tall and shouting praise.Sing loud, Holly; sing REALLY loud.
And I love Chris for the rockin' comment about not knowing or caring what the sins are--he knows her now, as she stands NOW in His grace, and her fellowship is precious. We are precious.
Love you, girl, and love you all.
By the way, I just want to mention that I have soup-started at least five quality, actual content-driven posts in the past month. They are all just sitting in my "Edit Posts" box. Oh well.So, if you saw my Goodreads update, you know I am reading The Shack. Liann dug it, Beth dug it--good enough for me. There's a ton I could say about what it's making me think, like reading about how Jesus points out to Mack that he is always planning for an imagined future of troubles and difficulties, and in his plans, God is never there. So all Mack's plans are about the best he can do to cope on his own with a picture that is astoundingly unlikely to be accurate. Ouch. That smarts where I live.But tonight I just want to say that I love the parts where one of the Trinity is always telling Mack that it's about Love. The whole God story is about relationship and love. And it's making me realize how often I do these two things:- Act as if God is outside of me and acting upon me, rather than residing inside of me and asking me to surrender control and let Him act through me.
- Function under all kinds of prayers constantly asking God to stop me from doing things (being too loud, getting carried away and controlling conversations, saying things in a crowd that could hurt someone or that will shame the Lord--notice a "Kathie-Big Mouth" oriented theme here?), rather than asking Him more often to do certain things through me--like love people better, extend more grace, etc.
Suddenly, I don't want to just shut up more often or be quieter so that I will be less offensive through the absence of my voice. Instead, I want to love people better. I want Him to control my speech not so I don't make a blithering mistake, but so people can leave feeling like they were loved well. And that they caught a glimmer of Jesus.Could sound a little presumptuous and arrogant, I know. And the next person that I hurt may well bring my nose right back to this blog post. I at least want to say that I tried to let myself live out of God's positive love rather than a negative void.
Hope my theology isn't off the deep end in this. It could be the Ambien talking.Jesus, cause me to love people well.
Meant to do this earlier...Hurry and rush over to my brother's blog and load his comment section with Happy #35 Birthday wishes! Today, February 4, is the big day.Dude, can my younger sib seriously be 35 years old? Very cool, actually!Love you, Michael, you big hunka nicer-than-me man :) So very, very glad to be your sister.
Ornery's Wife tagged me for this meme, and since I long to be able to keep up with reading all her posts, but she is so prolific I can only catch them here and there, I thought I could at least do this ONE thing she has ever asked of me. Besides whether or not I knew the Emanakers :)
And it's fun to have a little walk down memory lane while it's blowing snow once more outside my door. Need snow? Come to Idaho...4 Things About MEME
4 Jobs I Have Had
- Busgirl for the Country Store restaurant in Sky Forest
- Secretary for Lee Oskar Harmonicas (Dude, Lee is looking look like he has had some work done since he would stop by my desk and steal my Cheetos. He must know the same people Smokey Robinson knows...)
- High school English & journalism teacher
- Director of Communications for ACES, Inc. (Yep, lots of those pics in the products section are my fault :)
4 Movies Watched Over and Over
- The Lord of the Rings (all three)
- The Sandlot
- The Philadelphia Story
- The Commitments ("It's a The.")
4 Places I Have Lived
- Arcadia, CA
- San Diego, CA
- Running Springs, CA
- Boise, ID
4 Shows I Watch
- Frasier
- Monk
- The Closer
- House
4 Places I Have Been
- Romania
- Kazakhstan
- Kenya
- Italy
4 People Who E-mail Me
- Liann
- Corrina
- Michael the Brother
- My Mumsey
4 Favorite Things To Eat
4 Places I Would Rather Be
- Playing with my nephews and niece
- Playing Scrabble with Liann
- Drinking wine on Holly's couch
- Mammoth Lakes with my family
4 Things I Look Forward To This year
- SPRING! (I am tired of being cold up here! Brrr!)
- Hopefully some vacation with my fam
- Having company in my new house
- Maybe someone to smooch?
4 People To Tag
