Views from an Airport

Got here at 6:15 AM. Plane was to depart at 7:22 AM. It's 1:00 PM. Might be out of here in 30 minutes or so. Might be. Was supposed to be in Little Rock at 2:15 PM. Might be there by 11:34 PM. Might be.

Airports, delays in particular, bring out the best and worst in people. I swear airports are little microcosms of the world; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful all squished into one building.

On the whole, people who are trapped together in a ridiculously long delay turn into a little family. People start cracking jokes and chatting and checking on each other. Someone adopts the elderly people in wheelchairs and people do their best to tolerate children who have every right to be disgruntled. There is always some super sour pickle in the bunch, sometimes two, but they generally get ignored, and the people around them start talking about what a tough job the airline staff has when the situation starts out as a crew delay, turns into a maintenance delay, then turns into, "We have to fly the part in from San Francisco and we know you were scheduled to depart at 7:22 and it's now 9:30, but the plane should be here by 12:30 and it only takes 20 minutes to install the part, and San Fran has low clouds right now so no one is taking off, but we expect that you will be able to depart by 1:15 today."

The comments from staff are priceless in these moments. The poor gal who had been running our gate and rebooking connections for 70 people on her own (maintenance issue to fix that causes delay: not the airline's fault; not sending this woman help to serve their customers: definitely the airline's fault) suddenly got yanked over to load people for another flight at the gate next to us. The next thing we hear on the PA is, "Okay, we're ready to board at Gate 10. Flight XXXX to...where are you people going?"

Oh, and note to self: if you think you are being smart by getting in line to change your ticket 'cause you need to make phone calls to your hosts and your office and see what you needed to do and now there's only 10 or so people ahead of you before you use the little girl's room, think again. That line will take two hours. It was only a small cup of coffee, but it was indeed coffee.

I am not super worked up or anything--no point in being all hot under the collar--but as you stand in very long lines and no extra help is sent, even if you are happily humming to yourself, sometimes you find mild epithets running through your mind. Suddenly, up jumps, "This is monkey spew-biscuits." A bit later, "Holy monkey taster-chew" almost falls off your lips. Then, finally, when are a little more exasperated, "Unsnorkingbelievable, people."

Man down the row keeps asking why they can't bring in a new plane instead of a new part. He apparently didn't overhear the pilot like I did chatting with someone else about how you can't trade out Boeing and Airbus planes; the technologies don't match up one bit apparently, so they can't swap out the navigation-box-thingamajigs, and if one makes something that functions similarly to the other, they sue each other. Capitalism can trap you in an airport, people.

If you hear the airport announcements long enough, you will realize the airport voice is the only person in the world who still uses the word parcels. "Do not leave your luggage or parcels unattended."

I hope there are many parcels for me under the Christmas tree at Michael and Joanna's. If Mom changes her mind, that is; I did something last week to merit the annual, "Santa is not coming for you, child!" from Mom. I think I threatened to Elf her again or something...

I hope I see Michael and Joanna's tree and that I am not still here on Christmas Day. Parcels or not.

UPDATE: I'm in Denver! Hallelujah! And my rebooked connection means I only have a five and a half hour layover. Could be worse. Best moment on the plane was when we were supposed to be pulling away from the gate at 1:15 to depart and the pilot came on and said, "We are ready to go, but we seem to have lost nine passengers. They are looking for them in the airport now. We should pull out about 1:25. We'll keep you updated." The group I present to tomorrow will get a sleep-deprived, slightly-less-filtered version of me. Pray for them :)