Thursday, December 18, 2008

Yes, I really had a Great Aunt Gladys

Oh...my...sainted...Aunt...Gladys. It is so cold here. I don't know what the difference is between the mountain and Boise, but dear Heaven, it feels so much colder here. There's more snow at my parents' house than here, but I have no memory of being this cold the moment I would step out a door.

Maybe I am turning into a pansy as I age. I don't know. I just know that when I walk out into this cold, my brain screeches shut. I walked into the door at the chiropractor today and just stood there. Wherever words like, "Hello!" or, "How are you?" or even, "My, it's cold today, isn't it?" normally live in my brain, I couldn't find them. I finally eked out, "The drive between the office and here is too short to let the car get warm. I can't blink--my eyes are frozen open."

It's brain-gear-stripping cold. Sucks the smart right out of you. I stood outside tonight on a step stool in front of my garage, stapling up one end of a big piece of weatherstripping that came tearing away in the wind sometime today (apparently my garage is falling apart piece by piece). I came in when I finished, closed the garage door, and used the rest of my smarts to just make it in to the laundry area. I had to wait a minute to remember what comes next: ah, yes, taking off the coat.

Speaking of gear-stripping, I have a new garage door opener sitting in my garage waiting for a nice friend to install it. He came and checked the door opener for me on Tuesday and called to let me know it was officially dead. The big gear inside that moves the chain was completely stripped. I choose to believe that it was near death before I started my attempts to repair things. Please, don't contradict my fantasy.

And, as of this evening, my microwave is making a pretty nasty noise when I try to use it and a not so nice smell comes from it when I hurriedly turn it off. The house just passed its first year under my ownership as of November 29; perhaps it has decided to walk the plank one bit at a time until I need to replace everything. Merry Christmas to me!

Oh, and this other weird thing has started to happen. It's not unusual for me to get muscle twitches in certain places in one of my arms and one of my legs. Now I am getting a twitch in my upper lip. It's smack in the middle, right under my nose. Quite distracting, I must say. It feels like my upper lip is trying to smooch my lower lip. I have peeked in the mirror when it's happening to see how noticeable it is; it feels pretty pronounced. I was worried someone would think I was making kissy faces at them during a meeting, but it seems mostly imperceptible. Very odd. Maybe my body is walking the plank one piece at a time, too :)

The low tomorrow night in Boise is supposed to be ZERO. My only comfort is that the thing that leaves its big tracks in the snow on my lawn as it continues its obvious pattern of visits will somehow freeze its buns to the ground. Sweet, snowy, frozen justice. Oh, please, oh, please.

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